Hi, I’m Jason. The rumo(u)rs are true: I write good and I talk good. I will write and talk good in exchange for money and/or dark chocolate. Email me about this at jasonwarner@writesandtalksgood.com.

What else can I tell you? I like dark chocolate, finding new music, forming healthy parasocial relationships with podcasts, walking upon rocks on a river, laying down on the grass on a warm sunny day with my arms above my head like a lil’ baby, homemade Oreo ice cream with almond extract in it, the painting of a duck on a green background that I got for Father’s Day, and writing an elaborate message in a child’s birthday card that he won’t be able to read for years.

I like many more things than this, but you’re busy, and I respect your time.